Asking

Let reason take another step. 
If you attack whom God would heal and hate the one He loves, then you and your Creator have a different will.

Yet if you are His Will, what you must then believe is that you are not yourself.

You can indeed believe this, and you do.

And you have faith in this and see much evidence on its behalf.

And where, you wonder, does your strange uneasiness, your sense of being disconnected, and your haunting fear of lack of meaning in yourself arise?

It is as though you wandered in without a plan of any kind except to wander off, for only that seems certain.